Shanna decided to move forward with her life. She decided to stop pursuing any relationships and focus on her senior year. Her senior year she meets a girl named Lacey who she realizes she has strong feelings for. She also admires Lacey greatly.
Lacey was everything Shanna felt like she could never be. She was confident. She was happy. She let herself follow her urges and desires and didn’t care what anybody thought about her. Many people would consider Lacey a bad influence as well as other things. Shanna never thought that. She thought Lacey was amazing.
Shanna and Lacey became the best of friends. They spent a lot of time in between classes that year. They walked each other to classes holding hands. They became surrounded by a group of friends who they adored. It was great. Shanna felt legitimately happy for the first time in a long time. She wasn’t constantly wondering about the what ifs.
Shanna graduated and never heard from Lacey again. She lost contact with many of the friends she made through school. Feeling depressed, she wound up going to hang out places that were out of her comfort zone. She met a guy there that she thought was wonderful. She would later find out that he was far from wonderful.
After the relationship ended, she spent several years going in and out of brief relationships. She didn’t want to stay with anybody long. She was scared. She didn’t want to be hurt in the way she had. She also didn’t want to come to terms with the fact that she was really into girls. She’d let a few people know about it, but still wasn’t ready to fully come out.
When Shanna turned twenty-seven, she met a wonderful man named Zane. Somebody she didn’t think existed. Somebody who had more in common with her than she ever thought would be possible. For almost five years, they were very happy, but as time went on, she started feeling like a huge part of her was missing. Not wanting to ruin things like she always did, she suppressed these feelings.
She kept suppressing these feelings for a quite awhile until something major happened to her. Shanna decided to attend an event that she knew would be amazing and good for her. This event was way out of her comfort zone, but she was excited.
(To Be Continued… Final part next Monday)
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